I’ve been pretty quiet on our blog lately. We continue to do well and experience new things in Kosovo, but once I heard CCU would be announcing it’s closing, that is pretty much all I have been able to focus on. My heart is broken. I completed my undergraduate degree at CCU while learning from some very fine educators and then God gave me the chance to do the same for the next generation. I have been a faculty member at CCU for 11 years. They took a chance on a new teacher and encouraged me to grow and develop into a mature educator and researcher. They supported me through the entire doctoral process (even suggesting it when I never ever dreamed of such a goal). They promoted me and placed me in leadership. They gave me the freedom to create a program that produced some of the best teachers you’ll find anywhere. I am proud of my students and my colleagues. Because I chose to stay “until the end” I feel a unique connection with my current coworkers that will remain forever.
I could spend a couple of hours telling you where I think CCU went wrong and share my list of “should haves” and “have nots.” If you’re interested in those, let’s grab coffee once I return to the states. But for now, there isn’t much more to say other than, “Thy will be done.”
Here is a copy of the letter I sent to my education students this week:
To My CCU Education Students:
I sincerely apologize that I am 5,000 miles away while you have to process the news of CCU’s closing. I wish I was there to hug you, cry with you, and then tell you that in the end it will be okay. I share in your sadness. Over the past 48 hours I have thought about each one of you – those almost finished, those getting closer, and those just beginning who I haven’t yet met.
If you are feeling like CCU has failed you, I want to remind you that your department has not. You have been part of a fully accredited nationally recognized education degree program. Your classes have been carefully planned and taught to prepare you to be life-changing educators. Because of this, I am confident that wherever you choose to complete your degree will see your potential and you will quickly rise to the top of your class. Unfortunately, a stellar program cannot prevail within a larger university context that must close. The tears flowed today as I wrote our education accreditation organization and stated that I would have to close this program – our program.
I sincerely believed we would make it to May and was surprised when I heard the news that it was not meant to be. If you feel as though I misled you, I apologize. I chose not to leave CCU because I always believed we could become better.
There is a time to cry and a time to be angry, but I pray that one day you will be able to reflect on what God has asked you to learn from this experience. Question what you can take with you to make you a stronger person and a better teacher.
My life verse is Proverbs 19.21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
We can plan and plan and plan, but sometimes our best plans are not His. Take comfort in knowing that he is leading you. He is using the good times and the difficult times. Maybe this different road will lead you to meet someone who will become significant in your life’s story. Maybe you’ll find an opportunity to minister in an unexpected way. Maybe you’ll learn that you are stronger and braver than you thought possible. One thing for sure is that if you say, “Here I am, send me,” even when the road is one you haven’t chosen to walk down, God is there.
I have spent 16 years of my life at CCU, first as a student and then later as faculty. These are difficult days for us all. I am so thankful that our lives have crossed paths so that we are forever connected. I know you are in the best care possible with Mrs. Hess, Mrs. Bruns, and Jackie to help you. I am in constant communication with Mrs. Hess and am working hard to contact other universities on your behalf. You will be okay. But I do ask you to remember these three ladies and also encourage them as they decide what is next.
I hope once I return to the states, we will have an opportunity to officially see each other once more. Please email me if you have questions.
Live knowing you are loved.
Dr. Beam
I gave you my very best, CCU. I’m sorry that it wasn’t enough.
The Beam Bunch 
Sandi,
I’m sorry you are dealing with yet another heartbreaking event so far from home. You are in my prayers.
I pray you take those beautiful words to your students to heart and know God carries you as he does them.
Hugs & Prayers
Debbie
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Sandi, Great words of encouragement and truth. You had me right up until the end. Then you said, “I gave you my best, CCU. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough.” Not true, my friend. Your best was enough. You changed lives and the direction of children we will never know because of teachers you prepared to go out and be a light. Of course I am saddened by CCU’s closing, but I’e lived long enough to know even this will be used in a powerful way for God. Because unlike the people involved…God is still on HIs throne and still in control. I praise God you are reconnecting with teaching in Kosovo. I am excited for the lives you are touching there in ways, again, that you may never know. This morning as I was listening to music on Alexa I heard the Ray Boltz song “Thank You.” I’m claiming it as your song, Sandi. Live knowing you are loved.
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